Random Thoughts of a Voiceless Beauty...

Attachment… Worse than subconsciously becoming attached to someone you live with, is seperating from them abruptly.. (My roommate) See, attachment to material objects is not a problem, as most material possesions in life are replaceable. True, people are not irreplaceable. But the universe places people in your life because they are necessary- maybe crucial- for your growth & development as a person…
Attachment was never a part of the plan, see… I was to get along with, maybe interact, but never feel the “detachment”.. Turns out caring for & about others brings feelings of discomfort or, pain, of a sort. Yes, pain and sadness.. A bit of both, take up space, leave no room for positivity & composure.. That’s what it is.. I have lost my composure.. For a brief instance, I suppose.. I adapt to losing & cutting people out of my life quickly and painlessly.. Like reaching the end of a book, analyzing it, & picking up a new one.. Why should this be any different? I AM still Diana.. After all.. She is venomousmaiden for a reason..

No se que quiere la vida de mi.

La disfruto, trabajo cuando lo requiere, y no hago mal a nadie..

I’m just annoyed by the stupid feeling of being alone… restless, listless… Alone.

The outside noise is just that. Noise. Distractions. At the core: loneliness.

That physiological, almost biological feeling of being alone. It won’t leave me & I cannot stand it. The worst part is, there is noone to take it away or make it go away. (Not that anybody should have the privilege)

I go about life without complaining, taking it as it comes…

It is this liquid, knott-like.. inside of me.. right under my throat, at the center of my chest.. Hollow, cold.. Feels like anguish.. No. frustration.. At not knowing what it is or how to rid myself of it. Books, writing, music, school, friends, fun.. Nothing is working. Sleep & green tea have been my best friends, but no. It’s recurrent. What is it?

I’ve stopped hanging out with or having any intentions of hanging out with people who do not mean anything to me emotionally. That’s what it is! It’s as if all emotions had been cut off, torn out.. Which means I only care for one person, & that person is me. Everyone else can jump off a plane into an erupting volcano & I’d be okay..

Grim? Maybe. But I cannot help it. It is what it is.

Life… Life.. Life…

Lo encontre! Te van a encantar los comerciales que presentan.. Es todo una experiencia sensorial.. Genios! Quienes trabajan en la mercadotecnia…

That’s just the song playing at the moment. Pandora is great sometimes..
But it sucks she had to open that bloody box.. Shouldn’t blame her for being curious.. Forbidden fruit is oftentimes the sweetest..